“Each phase represents another refining stage in a divine
progression of life. He deposits us into one season, with its own unique set of
joys, challenges, people, and problems, and He lets us sit there a while. Pressing
us. Sifting us. Purifying us. Then at the right time, when the work that needs
to happen there is done, He unsettles us- sometimes in a way that feels forcible,
sudden, and painful; other times in a nearly undetectable way that is organic,
seamless, and can only be pinpointed in hindsight. Either way, He strategically
pours us into a new place and space- with new people, with new circumstances,
with new life dynamics- knowing this new environment will be the most suitable
for whatever He wants to reshape in us next.” Pricilla Shirer, Elijah study.
My mom sent that to me this morning, and the quote
beautifully puts into words the season of life that I’m currently navigating.
He has unsettled me in a way that has seemed sudden and forcible, but I also
fully trust that He is strategically pouring me into the “new,” a season of
life where literally everything will be new. To say that it has been
easy would be a lie. These past few months have truly been some of the hardest
months of my life. I have walked through the passing of my grandmother, which for
me was incredibly hard and a heavy burden at the time. I have walked through
some of the hardest work situations that I have ever encountered. I have
walked/walking through relational loss that has been harder than I ever thought
it would be. I have had to watch myself withdraw from school for the Spring,
which feels like failure, though I also know that it is the best decision for
right now. I’m watching literally every aspect of my life in the next few weeks
get uprooted.
The sermon at church on Sunday was spot on for my season of
life, and I love one of the things that Thomas said, “Change is inevitable.
Growth is optional.” Everyone recently has asked how I am doing. Let’s be real.
Some moments are a struggle. Some moments the waves of hard emotions hit- those
emotions of disappointment, failure, feeling betrayed by a company that I
poured my life into for several years, frustration, grief… the list could go
on. Some moments are filled with expectant anticipation of what God is doing
and will do. I can honestly say that in the past week, I have watched God
provide in ways that I didn’t expect. For example, my new updated nursing
license should have taken WEEKS to come through. On average, I was told that it
takes at least 4 weeks. It was less than a week- I got the notification this
morning. And that’s just one of the small pieces of provision. The change of
life is inevitable. Life will change. Growth is 100% optional. I can choose to
sulk and be pissed over the past few months. I can choose to stay where I’m at
relationally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even physically. I can choose
to let bitterness, jealousy, and envy root. OR. I can choose to grow with the
change. I can allow God to have His way and do a new work, creating new life, transforming
a new future. I get to choose where I sit.
I’ve watched and still watching God grow me in ways that I
never expected over the past 3 months, and I know that He does work all things
for good for those that love Him. This next season. These coming weeks. All of
this change. It will all be good in the end for me. It’s a freaking wild ride
though. None of it is at all what I expected to happen. Then again, we all know
that God likes to look at our plans and laugh. I won't post a whole lot about everything on social media over the next few weeks. If you would like to follow along with my current life adventure, shoot me a txt, email, or private social media message with your email, and I will add you to the locked down blog that I made.
